"Wolverine" is a bigger epidemic than HIV.

Well, not really. I'm actually sure it's in pretty bad taste to even joke about life-threatening illnesses. Nonetheless, with Fox's sure-to-be-blockbuster mutant mayhem extravaganza scant days away from hitting big screens, it's foul taint is already infecting the annals of the comic book world. Wolverine's most distinguishing characteristic is his claws. In fact, when he first appeared, he was not a mutant or even meta-human at all for that matter. He was a really crazy Canadian (I guess I could have just said Canadian) who strapped on some metal claws and went out to fight the Hulk. No healing factor, just brass effing balls. To be fair, back in the day, he might have even been a match for the Hulk before Quesada insisted that Banner's better half be able to take on Deities and come out on top, but that's a rant for a different day. For now, let's stick with the claws thing. From promotional footage of the upcoming film, it has been revealed that Wade Wilson, aka Deadpool, aka the merc with a mouth will be appearing in the film, being a product of Weapon X the same as old man Logan, this seems like a sensible addition to the cast. He will be played by Ryan Reynolds, who is a decent enough actor although he may not be over-the-top enough to play this character. Reread that last phrase because it's the ONLY time you'll ever see that written about Ryan Reynolds. What doesn't make sense is that he's been shown with ($5) foot-long metal claws jutting from his hands. Not exactly the modus operandi for everyone's favorite manic mercenary, but I guess the writers felt that Wolvie's claws wouldn't be enough to carry the movie. Even the comic book world is falling victim to the spread of "Wolverine." The Ultimate Marvel universe, mere months away from annihilation, finally got itself a Black Panther. One of the fiercest hand-to-hand combatants in Marvel's stable, this guy can already kick way more ass than Bwuce Wee. He's dangerous enough the way he is, but Ultimate B.P. has got, you guessed it, claws protruding from his knuckles. We're not talking the little metal nubs the original would use to pack more powerful punches, I mean real, Logan-envy, kut-u-up claws. Add on to this the nuber of mainstream Marvel characters who have been created with built-in sharp points lately (some of whom have glowing green oh-f***-Superman-is-boned claws as shown in the new Weapon X series) and you begin to get the idea that the "comics inspiring hollywood inspiring comics inspiring hollywood inspiring repeat ad infinitum" cycle has, in fact, reached rediculous proportions. Now, I'm not pre-judging this movie, and I am not attempting to dissuade anyone from going to see it. In fact, I'm guessing it will be a rollicking good, completely comic-inaccurate, mindless action slobberknocker (thanks, J.R.) I'll be at the midnight show (possibly with a pint of Crown) shoulder-to-shoulder with my fellow nerds, probably having real fun watching this. Enjoy it, but remember if you hear someone snicker at points, chances are they have a long box full of polypropelene bagged-books that tell a much different story than this film.